The traditional approach to interpersonal relationships focuses on whether two people are “compatible.” This trait-like approach can be contrasted to the pragmatic approach, which focuses on what people “construct” between them through ongoing patters of interaction. Here’s a simple breakdown of what pragmatics means in interpersonal communication.
The word pragmatic means practical or applied.
In human interactions pragmatics focuses on how people jointly construct relationships through ongoing patterns of interactions and choices.
Pragmatists:
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• Focuses on behavior (what people do), not what they think or intend.
• Believe that relationships are patterns of behavior, not isolated incidents.
• Decide on the meaning after the behavior takes place.
• Use the social and physical context to help interpret meaning.
• Ask “how” not “why” behaviors are done.
Through the pragmatic viewpoint, communication IS your relationship- it is the same thing. Relationships are constructed; it’s not (“are we compatible?”) but choices (actions) that make the difference. People can construct whatever relationships they want to through social interaction.
Question
If your communication is your relationship (if they are one and the same) them what does that suggest about the solution to dysfunctional relationships? Are relationships a matter of compatibility of fixed traits or of controllable behaviors? Explain your answer.
I believe that any couple that wants to make a relationship work, can. And i also believe that the key to most relationships working or not working is communication. If a relationship is dysfunctional, it can usually be solved by both individuals putting for an effort to communicate their thoughts and desires more efficiently. However, i do believe that people communicate differently. There are concrete communicators and idealistic communicators, it may be more difficult for two different types of communicators to understand what the other is saying, but not impossible. For example, one person may say "the sky is blue", and the other may say, "no your wrong. The sky is not green." in essence they are saying the exact same thing, however they do not believe they are. for these types of people it would take a great deal of effort to communicate.
ReplyDelete1) If this is true then I would think the solution to dysfunctional relationships would be simple, learn to communicate differently. The problem I feel I see is that some times the damage has already been done and no communication is going to fix it. Communication is so complex and different from person to person (as a result of filters and personalities) that knowing what the right communication is can be very hard. Also it is 100% the senders and the receivers job to communicate well, so if one person is not on board the whole thing falls apart and nothing is achieved or remedied.
ReplyDelete2) I would have to say it is a little bit of both. we can obviously control our communication to a certain extent, but the way we communicate has a great deal to do with our personality. The things we like or dislike, the things we talk about, the way we share love and feels, they are all part of our personality and communication. So can we control our communication? Yes, but is it also part of who we are? Yes, therefore I think it is safe to say compatibility has an effect on relationships too. If your communication is similar to another individuals, it makes communicating a little easier and can effect the strength of a relationship.
I believe that communication is key in every relationship, just as it is suggested in the reading. As I have looked at many dysfunctional relationships it is clear to see that communication is why it is not going well. A solution to a dysfunctional relationship is simply that there needs to be better communication, or there needs to just be some kind of communication. Many people believe that there is a one and only out there for them and until they find that person they cannot get married. I do not believe that is true. There are many people out there for everyone they all that is needed is the ability to adapt to each other’s needs and wants. People do not have such fixed or engrained traits in them that they are not able to change. Change can always be made. There is one quote that I really like on this subject. “Understanding, not agreement is the beginning of unity.” I believe that this is so true in almost any relationship. If we could always just take the time to understand the people that we deal in our everyday lives there would be much more unity and overall better relationships.
ReplyDeleteI think that our relationships do depend and vary on both principles. We as communicators have to be willing to adapt our style and way in which we communicate with others because of their different traits. We cannot go around speaking to every person the same in every instance. Those people that have dysfunctional relationships are not willing to make the changes that are more than practical to make the relationship work. Although they may have differences we all have to give a little to be able to take a little. We can control have we act and react to every situation, we may not like how that person is but we cannot treat them badly just for that reason. You never know when it will come around to bite you in the butt. Our communication relationships are two way streets that we must both drive on to make the traffic flow. If we both want to drive on the same road in opposite directions towards each other we are merely asking for disaster, ie people that are not willing to adapt or make chagnes to their communication and end up failing in all aspects of life.
ReplyDeleteIf your communication is your relationship (if they are one and the same) then what does that suggest about the solution to dysfunctional relationships? Are relationships a matter of compatibility of fixed traits or of controllable behaviors? Explain your answer.
ReplyDeleteRelationships can be easier if you are more compatible, but even if you are Romeo and Juliet you’re going to find that being in a relationship is less about romance and more about the consistent concern for the well being of your partner. I believe that dysfunctional relationships are most commonly the result of three things: A slackening in the values or beliefs (religion) that your relationship was based on, selfishness, and a break down in communication.
The first reason being that you cannot be a happy individual if you are not living up to values you believe in, and until you are happy you cannot make another person happy.
The second reason is obviously because if you are being selfish you are expecting your partner to meet your needs without an effort to meet theirs.
And the third reason being because no matter how much you love a person, if you cannot communicate that love to them in a language that they can understand, then you have no relationship with that person.